People often think that feelings just happen or that an event/ situation triggers a feeling and the event causes the “feeling., and they have no control over their feelings.
Choice theory, developed by Dr. William Glasser, teaches that events, people and situations cannot “make” someone feel anything. Rather an event/ person or situation can only provide information. Our thoughts about the event is what actually triggers the feelings, and physiology. One of the major principles of choice theory is that: All we can give another person is information, and all anyone else can give us is information. We cannot “make” people do things, and people cannot “make” us do things. However we can provide information to someone and they can process this information and behave in accordance to the information they have. We often hear the expression: “well, I didn’t have a choice”. Realistically this comment is not fact, as we always have a choice. Choices may at times be limited, but we always have options. A red light does not make us stop, but gives us information that its not safe to go at that time. We take this information and make a decision whether we are going to stop or not. If we stop ( which hopefully most of us do), it is our decision to stop. The light did not “make” us do so. The ringing of a phone does not make us answer the phone, but merely gives us the information that someone is trying to reach us. We decide whether we will answer the phone or not. We have control of how we respond or behave to the information provided.